STILL ON HIATUS

 

Doing business and I have been taking a BIG break from one another for quite some time now. The last physical move and lack of adequate space to work in have knocked me so far off point that I've been flitting around here and there trying to figure out what "the next thing" is going to be. Thus far I have not come across the next thing that really grabs my interest. I've started several new projects, but have become bored with them rather quickly.

Until today, I kept thinking there had to be a "the next great thing" that was going to take me on a magic carpet ride... but now have to wonder - it's been over a year, maybe there really is no next great thing for me. Maybe all I really want is now is a life of: no responsibility, no schedules, no appointments, no "working".

Sounds good right?  It "should" be, but in reality - for me, it's just been a stressful jumble of guilt and anxiety. After a year of "doing nothing", I still feel guilty for staying up late, reading books through from beginning to end in a day or two non stop, (except for snack and pee breaks), and sleeping in and not getting up and starting my days with the rest of 9-5 humanity, and wandering around aimlessly.

I am surprised to discover that finding a comfortable place in myself to settle into is oddly illusive. It never has been before. There was always something leading to something else which led to another.... and so on. Now it just seems that well is dry.  From time to time I consider closing LaloBean and the Little Silver Fox and putting away all unfinished manuscripts and artworks for good, but won't do it - not just yet. I LOVE them. They are my babies.

I'll just continue to explore leaning back and going with the flow - wherever that takes me. Hopefully it will take me to the "next great things" and that magic carpet ride.

Unfortunately if there's too much of that I begin to feel a bit useless - like I'm just taking up space; and lately, I sometimes feel that if I slipped off into the night no one would know until the rent comes due. But when I get a visual on that the big question is "What is out there in that night?"  That's where my imagination stops. All I see is a vast wall of blackness. Very much a fan of GPS gadgets and Google maps,  I still like to know where I am going. So I fall back to earth again, into my body and fingers on the keys typing this post...

Uh oh, here comes boredom. I am bored with this post. I'll turn this thing off now and go look for something else to do. Maybe I'll go outside and look at the back yard and mentally plan a garden.

Maybe I'll come back another time and 'think' about this situation some more.  There's got to be something left on earth that will grab me by the heart and get the creative juices flowing again!  

Laterz ...  

May...

Box ~ acrylic paint, acrylic varnish, fimo feet

May...

Happy Spring Everyone!

I'm still not completely settled in. Shelving cases still need their doors painted and attached and I want to get two folding work tables to replace the 6' one, which is much too heavy for me to fold up and move every time I want to free up space. The living room is also used as a work room. 

November, December,  January and part of February were spent recuperating from the flu, a weird cold that wouldn't go away and serious back and hip muscle trauma caused by doing all the lifting, and packing as well as the moving of smaller items not entrusted to the professionals by myself. 

All of March was spent in NYC with my brother who had a shoulder operation. He needed help cooking and getting around. It was great to be able to  help out and spend some time with him. I was sad to leave, but happy to be back home again. 

April went by quickly as I resumed unpacking and sorting things out, and re-arranging work & living spaces.

The new apartment is much smaller than the old one, ( two 9' x 10' rooms less). It's been a challenge to make the space work for me. I had to give my old drawing table and several pieces of furniture away in addition to a lot of other "stuff". The windows are North facing so there is less light too... and as the weather gets warmer a new problem is surfacing. The dumpsters flanking either side of the building evidently get pretty ripe in temps over 78 F. YIKES!!!!!  It is typically way above that for 9 months a year. It's been in the high 80's and low 90's for the last few days.

 Yesterday, an acrid smell permeated my whole apartment and the gases are still stinging my eyes and nostrils today. The odor also still lingers. I've been running a large air purifier since I noticed the smell and realized what it was. 

I wrote to management telling them about the problem. Hopefully they will clean the dumpsters and neutralize the odors and gases. There are products made for that. I've only been here for 5 months hate the thought of moving again. I'm glad I haven't unpacked everything yet. 

With all of the above going on, I haven't been able to get down to serious work since July when I began to disassemble the the work & living spaces and pack everything.

Meanwhile... to brighten up page I thought I'd share pics of a small cigar box I painted before the move. Sorry, it has been sold. 

I purchased several interesting looking old cigar boxes from a local cigar store where they were on display last year. The one shown is about 6" x6" x4" and has two compartments.  The remaining boxes vary in size and will be turned into keepsake/ jewelry/ chatchka boxes - can't wait to get to them now. 

Small re-purposed cigar box painted in the naive style depicting a bird, tree, fox, fish, and hearts and flowers.

Feet are small square polymer tiles painted yellow

"Obsessed with the making..."

.. a gem from the poet,E.E. Cummings:


"If a poet is anybody, he is somebody to whom things ‘made’ matter very little — somebody who is obsessed with the Making. Like all obsessions, the Making has advantages: for instance, my only interest in making money would be to make it. Fortunately, however, I should prefer to make almost anything else, including locomotives and roses. It is with locomotives, not to mention acrobats, spring electricity, Coney Island, the 4th of July, the eyes of mice and Niagara Falls that my poems are competing. They are also competing with each other, with elephants and El Greco."
— e. e. cummings 

Custom apron for a little girl who bought it for her grandmother ~ Nonna. I had a great time designing and painting this for this customer and her mother.

Nonna received it for Valentine's day and LOVED it!  Order yours today 

Custom Apron by LaloBean